A Broken-hearted Youngster

Hi Fefu. I don’t want to act, I don’t want to be onstage. I just want to do admin. Lately, I’ve been in an odd spot lately where I’m being passed up for promotions, or listening to people complain about jobs I’d dream of doing. I got my first big interview and I froze. What should I do?

Dear Broken-Hearted Youngster,

Kudos for knowing what you want to do. And kudos that that is being an arts administrator who oversees all the operational and financial aspects that ensure theatre happens! I want to address your heartbreak and then the big interview. That “odd spot” you’re in, whether it’s feeling resentment or a bit of rage, is a signal that you’re looking to move up or move out. Do you have the kind of relationship with your supervisor to get feedback on how to best position yourself for a future promotion? If you don’t already have such a relationship, I’d suggest you start building one because getting constructive feedback will give a concreteness to internal career advancement. You’ll feel less like you’re throwing darts at a target in the dark. 

Getting the big interview, and your first big interview, is a win! You are a contender (remember that), but that’s also a lot of pressure to put on yourself. That pressure is what makes your brain think you’re in danger and so you freeze up. It’s not because you’re weak or not right for this job or didn’t prepare for hours. Your body went into fight-or-flight mode and the processing part of your brain, where you so eloquently answer the important questions just like you rehearsed them in the comfort of your home, takes a back seat. If this happens again, take a beat and acknowledge what’s happening, do a little breathwork to re-engage your parasympathetic nervous system (like 4-2-6: breath in for 4 counts, hold your breath for 2, breath out for 6), now smile, and buy yourself more time, either by asking them to repeat the question, or, if you remember it, restating the question as the set up for your answer, or, being honest and saying that you have some nerves and could they repeat the question. You will earn yourself the space to get your bearings, reengage that brain, and maybe even some sympathy. 

Break legs and breathe,
Fefu

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