Conflicted Creative:

Dear Fefu, I’ve always dreamed of being a performer and even went to school to train as one. But over time, I found more success as a writer (you know, it pays the bills) — and while writing is something I truly love, it isn’t my main passion. Acting has always been at the center of what I want to do. Now that many of the Broadway, Off-Broadway, and new theater projects I’d love to audition for are written by friends or collaborators, I feel stuck. It’s like being a writer somehow works against me — as if people only see me in that role and not as an actor. It’s also awkward professionally, especially when those same writers come to me for advice on their scripts or the music of the show I’d love to audition for. I feel embarrassed to even ask about auditioning, like I’ve already struck out or crossed some invisible line I didn’t mean to. How do I find the confidence (and the right approach) to reintroduce myself as a performer — especially to people who already know me as a writer? Sincerely, Conflicted Creative

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Dear Conflicted Creative,

The dilemma of the multihyphenate. It can be so difficult in an industry that really desires people to be easily definable and only complex to a degree. As a multi-passioned artist and creative myself, it took a lot of reintroductions of myself to others (and myself at times) over the course of my ever-evolving career.

First, I would say identify the people with whom you feel most comfortable calling yourself an actor in front of. Sometimes, just saying the other part of you out loud in front of people can be the hardest. Try it in a space where you feel acceptance and championing will be present before you leap to ask for an audition. Because some of this embarrassment has to shake off, and going straight for “Can I audition for your play?” might be too high stakes.

Have you considered going to a low-stakes class to just feel your actor self again? Even though you’ve already trained. Maybe a vocal class? Movement? Something highly exploratory and not end product heavy? I believe this may also breathe some confidence back into a sense of self. An integration of a part of you that’s not been able to play or be seen for a while.

Now, if you’ve mostly been writing and haven’t been acting for some time, is it possible that people don’t know how much you love acting? Or that people truly have no awareness of that side of your work, so you will have to go through, like so many of us when we came out of training, a season of introduction? Name three playwrights you know who, again, you feel most connected to and that you would like to have an appointment with. Especially if they have a piece in development, rather than production at the moment.

Long story short, you have to consider yourself an unknown right now. But unknown does not equal unvalued, incapable, or embarrassing. There will be rejection along the way, but you can handle that. It’s your job to honor yourself and no one can help you if you don’t ask. Every actor was unknown before they were known.

Sincerely,

-Fefu

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This Fefu is a Tony Award-nominated performer and artistic leader who has trained (and graduated, thank goodness!) from elite programs across oceans.